Wednesday, April 23, 2014


 Modern Self - Self-Aware and Self-Assured

The modern me, woman, man, mom or family has drastically changed over the last decade or so. What does it mean to be modern, and what does this have to do with self-awareness? Well, to begin with self-awareness is something that plagues many of us (self-consciousness). I remember growing up, and I would be so self-conscious about the most remote things. I didn't like to draw attention to myself WHATSOEVER! So, compliments were difficult to take and receive. I always enjoyed being behind the scenes, a natural people watcher, observer that came off the wrong way, I'm so sure. I worked so diligently to hide myself from people that I didn't know who I was, and eventually lost contact. People either think I'm really quiet and shy or odd and overly confident (a non-conventional mix). It was all easy for me to understand growing up in an urban inner-city, a tough neighborhood, one of four siblings, a latch-key kid with tremendous cultural enrichment in my life, and a wonderful extended family. I saw the world through the eyes of diversity. A daydreamer and doodler, I listened and thought a lot to myself. I was so self-conscious, yet quite bold when I wanted to or had to be; whether facing neighborhood or school-yard bullies, or taking the plunge out of my comfort zone. Many of us get stuck in adolescence (pimples and all, the awkward moments and events) when we are our most brutal and worst critic.What's your biography (what shaped you)?

Today, I know that self-awareness is about self-acceptance, working with what you were given. As I look at endless media images of the beautiful, famous and rich, I say, "wow," but I am at peace with my modern self as it has evolved, and the universe has reinvented me through so many circumstances. Our circumstances are often responsible for our change. I sought to reclaim my happiness, after being unhappy and experiencing terrible life disappointments. But, before that could happen, I had to journey through so many hills and valleys of my life. It's not easy being authentic in this fake-azz world. We live and breath in optical illusions (fake people), observe human train wrecks, and there are those obsessed with delusions of grandeur or narcissists. What isn't Photoshopped is some big publicity stunt, or a disingenuous neighbor, or coworker who is only consumed with taking something from you (envy). Relationships are premium, but fake friends or saboteurs take them [relationships] for granted, and just screw things up (that includes the boyfriend, partner, manager, family member, etc.), a lot of us call them "losers." People who burn bridges with themselves standing on it, still amaze me (the lack of self-awareness).

Self-awareness is quite missing as pop culture has consumed us, and we're disconnected from our true selves to fit-in and be accepted by "the group" (whatever the group is). We are not in touch with our feelings and therefore, we don't have a clear picture of what really blows our hair back and our skirt up, living vicariously through media optical illusions, celebrities and reality TV that is not real. When Bruno Mars performed for the 2014 Super Bowl Half-time Show, that was so real. All the movie blockbusters and super action heroes are fine, but being self-aware (YOUR feelings, needs, opinions) about your modern self is critical to feeling good when there are no special effects!

The Modern Self Series Will Continue...

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